My 7-Step Wind Down Routine After a Long Day

my brain used to start planning tomorrow the second my head hit the pillow. this wind down routine shut that off.

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It’s 11:40 and I’m in bed, exhausted, scrolling. My body is done, but my brain is still answering emails and replaying something awkward I said at lunch. If that sounds familiar, I see you.

A wind down routine fixed this for me. The short version: start about an hour before bed, dim the lights, put your phone in another room, take a warm shower, and write tomorrow’s to-do list. Then read a few pages and breathe slowly until you’re sleepy.

I’ve done some version of this for about a year now. I’ll walk you through my 7 steps, a 10-minute version for chaotic nights, and the 6 things that make it easier. None of it is fancy, and you can start tonight.

open journal and mug on a nightstand under a warm lamp

What Is a Good Wind Down Routine?

A good wind down routine is a set of calm, repeatable steps you do 30 to 60 minutes before bed. It moves you from bright and busy to dim and quiet. Most include dimming lights, putting screens away, a warm shower, writing down tomorrow’s tasks, and slow breathing.

Why Your Brain Won’t Switch Off at Night

Your body doesn’t have an off button. It has a dimmer. Melatonin, the hormone that makes you sleepy, rises slowly as your evening gets darker and quieter.

Bright screens mess with that. Harvard Health has reported that blue light suppresses melatonin more than other kinds of light. So scrolling until midnight tells your brain it’s still daytime.

Stress piles on top. When your mind is still running through tomorrow, your body stays a little bit on alert. That’s why you can feel exhausted and wide awake at the same time.

And you’re not alone. The CDC says about 1 in 3 adults in the US don’t get enough sleep. A wind down routine won’t fix everything, but it gives your body clear signals that the day is over. My sleep optimization post goes deeper on the science side.

My 7-Step Wind Down Routine After a Long Day

I start this about an hour before I want to be asleep. Some nights I do every step. Some nights I do three. Both count.

Step 1: Set a Done-for-the-Day Alarm

My phone buzzes at 9:30 with a label that says “you’re done.” That’s my cue to stop working, stop cleaning, and stop answering texts.

It sounds silly, but without it I’d keep going until midnight. Having a hard stop is what makes the rest of the routine actually happen.

Step 2: Dim the Lights and Park Your Phone

I turn off the big overhead light and switch to one warm lamp. Then my phone goes on the charger in the kitchen, not next to my bed.

This is the hardest step and the one that matters most. If you need ideas for what to do with your hands instead, I made a whole list of things to do instead of your phone.

Step 3: Take a Warm Shower

A warm shower or bath is my favorite part. A 2019 review in Sleep Medicine Reviews found that bathing in warm water 1 to 2 hours before bed helped people fall asleep faster.

The trick is the cool-down after. Your body temperature drops when you get out, and that drop is a natural sleepy signal. I keep mine around 10 minutes so it doesn’t turn into a whole project.

Step 4: Do Your Skincare Slowly

I do the same skincare every night, just slower. Cleanser, serum, moisturizer, lip balm. I massage each step in for a few extra seconds.

It’s a tiny moment where nothing is asking anything of me. On really stressful weeks I add a body lotion too. My cortisol body lotion picks are the calming ones I reach for.

Step 5: Write Tomorrow’s To-Do List

This one surprised me the most. A 2018 Baylor University study found that people who spent 5 minutes writing a to-do list before bed fell asleep faster than people who wrote about what they’d already finished.

I keep a notebook on my nightstand. Everything rattling around in my head goes on paper, so my brain doesn’t have to hold it all night.

Step 6: Read a Few Pages With Something Warm

I make a mug of chamomile or peppermint tea and read in bed. Paper books only, nothing with a screen.

I pick something cozy, not a thriller I can’t put down. Ten pages is usually enough before my eyes get heavy.

Step 7: Breathe Slowly Once the Lights Are Off

Lights off, eye mask on, then 4-7-8 breathing. Breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 7, and breathe out slowly for 8.

I do about four rounds. Long exhales help your body shift out of alert mode. If you want more calming tools, my nervous system regulation routine has a few I use during the day too.

How to Make Your Bedroom Feel Like a Wind Down Zone

Your room does half the work if you set it up right. The Sleep Foundation suggests keeping your bedroom around 60 to 67 degrees Fahrenheit. I keep mine at 66 and sleep so much better than I did at 72.

Keep it dark, too. Blackout curtains or a weighted eye mask both work. I also switched to a silk pillowcase, which feels cool against my face and doesn’t crease my cheeks.

Scent helps me more than I expected. A few drops of lavender in a diffuser tells my brain it’s bedtime. My aromatherapy for stress guide covers which oils to try first.

My 10-Minute Wind Down Routine for Busy Nights

Some nights you get home at 10 and there’s no time for a full hour. Here’s my short version.

Phone on the charger in another room. Wash your face and brush your teeth with only the bathroom light on. Write three things for tomorrow on a sticky note. Then get in bed and do four rounds of 4-7-8 breathing.

That’s it. Doing the short version every night beats doing the perfect version once a week.

Mistakes That Make Winding Down Harder

I made all of these, so no judgment. The big one is “just one more episode.” A show built to keep you watching will win every time.

Late caffeine is the second. Caffeine can stay in your system for hours, so I stop coffee by noon. A heavy dinner right before bed can also keep you up.

The last mistake is trying to force sleep. If I’m still awake after 20 minutes, I get up, sit somewhere dim, and read until I feel sleepy. Lying there frustrated only makes it worse.

The 6 Things That Make My Wind Down Routine Easier

You don’t need to buy anything to start. But these 6 things made my routine feel like something I look forward to, instead of another chore.

nodpod weighted sleep mask

Best Overall

nodpod

Weighted Sleep Mask

If you only buy one thing from this list, make it this. The gentle weight feels like a light hand resting on your eyes, and it blocks every bit of light. I fall asleep faster with it than without it, full stop.


The Five Minute Journal by Intelligent Change

Best for Racing Thoughts

Intelligent Change

The Five Minute Journal

The night page asks what went well and what you’d do better. It takes about two minutes, and it stops me from replaying my whole day in bed. I add my to-do list on the back page.


Dr Teal's Sleep Body Lotion with melatonin and lavender

Best Body Step

Dr Teal’s

Sleep Body Lotion with Melatonin

A lavender and chamomile scented lotion that turns your post-shower moment into a little ritual. It’s rich without feeling sticky under pajamas. The smell alone tells my brain it’s almost bedtime.

READ: sleep optimization


Pure Daily Care aromatherapy diffuser and essential oil set

Best for Scent

Pure Daily Care

Ultimate Aromatherapy Diffuser & Essential Oil Set

This set comes with a diffuser and a bunch of oils, so you can test what calms you down. I run lavender in my bedroom for the last hour of the night. It also has a soft night light, which is perfect for step two.


ZIMASILK mulberry silk pillowcase

Best Sleep Upgrade

ZIMASILK

100% Pure Mulberry Silk Pillowcase

Cool, smooth, and kinder to your hair and skin than cotton. I wake up with fewer creases on my face and less frizz. It’s the kind of small upgrade that makes getting into bed feel good.


MULCHUM lavender scented candle

Best Cozy Pick

MULCHUM

Lavender Scented Candle

I light this when my done-for-the-day alarm goes off and blow it out before I get in bed. The warm glow does more for my mood than any lamp. Just never fall asleep with it lit.

READ: things to do instead of your phone


nightstand with a sleep mask, book, and cup of tea
ProductRoutine stepKey featureBest forStandout feature
nodpod Weighted Sleep MaskStep 7: breatheGentle weight, full blackoutLight sleepersCalming pressure on eyes
The Five Minute JournalStep 5: to-do listGuided night promptsRacing thoughtsTakes about 2 minutes
Dr Teal’s Sleep Body LotionStep 4: skincareLavender, chamomile, melatoninPost-shower ritualScent cues bedtime
Pure Daily Care Diffuser SetStep 2: dim lightsDiffuser plus oil setScent loversBuilt-in soft night light
ZIMASILK Silk PillowcaseBedroom setup100% mulberry silkHair and skin careCool, smooth feel
MULCHUM Lavender CandleStep 1: done alarmLavender scentCozy eveningsWarm glow for wind down

bedside tray with a candle, towel, and silk eye mask

If you liked this, my nighttime routine for anxiety has extra steps for nights when your mind feels loud. And for a slower weekend version, try my Sunday reset routine.

Want your whole home to feel calmer? My cozymaxxing guide is full of small changes. I also love pairing this with my mind body connection morning routine, and my best silk pillowcases list has more picks for your bed.


cup of tea next to a book and candle on a bed

evrygal recommends: nodpod Weighted Sleep Mask for wind down routine, based on our hands-on testing.

Start with one step tonight, probably the phone one. Add another next week and let it build from there.

Key Takeaways

  • A good wind down routine starts 30 to 60 minutes before bed and moves you from bright and busy to dim and quiet
  • Dimming lights and putting your phone away cuts the blue light that delays melatonin
  • A warm shower 1 to 2 hours before bed can help you fall asleep faster
  • Writing tomorrow’s to-do list for 5 minutes before bed helped people fall asleep faster in a Baylor University study
  • A cool bedroom around 60 to 67 degrees Fahrenheit makes it easier to fall and stay asleep

Last updated: October 25, 2026


FAQ

How long should a wind down routine be?

Aim for 30 to 60 minutes before you want to be asleep. That’s enough time for your body to shift into rest mode. On busy nights, even 10 minutes of the basics helps.

What time should I start winding down?

Count back an hour from when you want to be asleep. If you want to sleep at 10:30, start at 9:30. Setting a phone alarm with a label makes it way easier to actually stop.

Is it okay to watch TV as part of a wind down routine?

A calm show you’ve seen before is better than scrolling, but screens still keep your brain more alert. I try to turn the TV off at least 30 minutes before bed. Reading or journaling works better for me.

What should I do if I still can’t fall asleep?

If you’re awake after about 20 minutes, get up and go somewhere dim. Read or stretch until you feel sleepy, then try again. Lying in bed frustrated usually makes it harder.

Does a wind down routine help with anxiety?

It can help a lot. Writing your thoughts down and slow breathing both calm your body before bed. If anxiety keeps you up most nights, talk to your doctor too.

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